yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I party with great urgency now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
