I think I died a long time ago.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
