____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
