We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
