Sry I called you an 8
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
