why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize