That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
