idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
