Sry I called you an 8
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
