you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
