conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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