Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
