first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
