Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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