you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
