So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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