Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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