I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
