Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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