So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
