I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
