I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
