happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
