Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
