its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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