The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
