he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize