So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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