I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
