he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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