Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
