Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
