YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
