living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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