...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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