Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
