If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
