just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
