I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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