dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
