i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
