Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
