I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”