I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize