just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
