Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
