Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
