i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
