i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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