It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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