i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
