I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
