PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
