i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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