Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
