I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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