If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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