would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
