But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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