my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
