The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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