The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
