There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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