Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
