i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
