Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
